Day 2 (6-15-2011)

Yesterday morning I wrote my first entry in what I hope will be a year long journey watching God's ability and perfect plan play out in my life. It is funny though, how satan whispers lies in my ear. As soon as I posted yesterday I immediately began feeling so many insecurities.

What if someone reads it, and they don't like it?
What if someone comments and criticizes me?
What if someone I know reads it and knows what kind of person I have been and thinks I am a hypocrite?
What if what I say offends someone who doesn't believe the same things I do?

And then I stopped, and I prayed that God would give me a peace about this. As I was praying thoughts began to flood my mind, and I was ashamed of some of the things I let my mind think.

I have been doing an amazing bible study that has been perfect for me and where I am in my spiritual life right now.

Faithful, Abundant, True

Going Deeper Still

It has been such a blessing!! Today the study focused on "Fixing" our eyes on God. It was what I totally needed. I had spent all day yesterday worrying about what other people might think, and God spoke to me and said,

"Danielle!!! I wanted you to reflect daily on your walk with me for YOUR benefit! Quit worrying about anybody else. This is about our relationship. Focus on me."

My insecurities and thoughts completely coincide with how our country handles pressing issues. We are a nation so worried about being politically correct that we are scared to stand up for what we think is right because it might "offend" someone. I find myself holding back and purposely not talking about my relationship with God because I am afraid of what people might say, think, or feel about it. I am careful not to say what I think about same sex marriage because it might insult someone or even worse, someone might call me intolerant, self-righteous, or judgemental. I have tiptoed around so many controversial, worldly issues that I have found myself conforming to them. I am ashamed to say that because my focus has been on what other people might think, that I have become indifferent. I have found myself accepting things of this world because its easier than actually standing up for what I know is right and not being afraid of what someone else might think.

John 15:4-5, 7-8

4 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you main in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

7 "IF you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it willbe given you. 8 This it to my Father's golry, that you bear much fruit, SHOWING yourselves to be my disciples."

I have not been fruitful. I have focused on my own wants and asked God to form his will around it. I have been selfish and unwilling to "show" myself as one of God's disciples because I thought I could have an awesome relationship with God in secret... you know... so as not to "offend" anyone. But God is calling me to make it known, and the more I diligently seek him, the more I want to tell everyone.

Today I want to praise God for my job. I am so lucky to work for Godly people who are not afraid to live a life that "SHOWS" what they believe and stand for.

Today I am going to give up saying anything negative about someone else. (Yesterday I gave up facebook, and that was difficult... today's....well... it might take me a few days to nail this one.)